Thursday, October 9, 2008

Censored.

Howdy ladies and gents. Hope everyone has been fine. Today's topic will be about our very own, Malaysian Censorship Board. I'll try to stick to just the entertainment industry because I'm afraid if I dare venture further than that, I might end up like a certain "Raja". Seeing the government uses the ISA like using toilet paper while having diarrhea.

Well that's another story ain't it? So, the censorship board. Something I've been willing to get off my chest since forever. I'm not sure if Astro goes through with the same process as our censorship board but it's equally bad. I'm not sure if you guys and gals know, but Astro has a 3 minute delay from the actual broadcast in "live" telecasts. This 3 minutes, are used to filter out stuff they deem "inappropriate". Well, that about beats the purpose of "Live" fucking TV, doesn't it?

"It's Live, but 3 mins late." WTF?! So the spontaneaus argy bargy that goes on such as the Madonna Britney kiss from the VMAs among other things, will just be another FeBreeze advert or something like that. Why? Because they don't think we should see it. Let me ask you something, Astro Censorship. Are we paying extra just so we can enjoy "live" tv? Or rather, are we paying extra to watch proper tv? I can understand if TV1 chooses to censor every single kiss and cleavage that goes on tv, but thats because we're not paying for TV1, they should be able to decide what they want to show. We ARE paying for Astro however, but we still get half-chopped movies, slowed down "steamy" scenes and 3 minute delays.

If there were another network that did not do this, I would definitely be the first to jump ship. Unfortunately, living in Malaysia, means that every network would be subject to this joke of a entertainment industry.

Alright then, forget about Astro for a minute. We DO get some good stuff on there, despite it usually being at least a year late, but lets leave that for later. Let's move on to the actual censorship board of Malaysia. How many times have you gone into the Cinema, paid your 10 bucks, to watch a 18 movie. For example, an 18 SG (Sungguh Ganas!) movie, and had every single "fuck", "shit" and "bitch" censored out. What's so bloody ganas about the movie if they can't even swear on screen. Another question to the board, if every bloody thing is already censored out, why in the whole bloody world, is it labelled 18? Is it any different from a U movie? No.

Boobs? Out. Cleavage? Out. Fuck? Out. Shit? Out. Bitch? Out. Violence? Out. Sex scenes? Out. Drugs references? Out.

Jesus Christ. 18 SX (Presumably sex) without sex or semi-nudeness. 18 SG without swearing and violence. 18 PL is a combination, so nothing in there. What is the easiest solution? Buy the pirated DVD of course! The Unrated version, where you can see all the swearing or sex you want. And there they are going on about anti-piracy.

Hello braindead religious dicks, well done. Pat yourself on the back because you're fuelling the pirate business.

I'll give all of you some good examples.

Watched Hitman? Every swear word out, all "intimate" scenes out.

I didn't watch the Departed in the cinema, and am glad I did not. If you have watched this, you'll get what I mean. It would be like the old days, watching a silent movie.

Watched Tenacious D on Astro? The climax of the movie, where they battle Satan, is censored out. Presumably because once we see Satan holding a guitar, with Dave Grohl's voice, we'll all convert into satanists. A good 15 mins or so, which made the whole movie meaningless. I mean, if you want to take out such a big chunk of the movie, why bring it in in the first place? Oh right, cause it's the Malaysian Censorship Board. People who probably censor out everything then go back home and watch some animal porn or something.

Latest dumb fucking movie was, Knocked Up. I hadn't watched this movie before so I took the opportunity when it came on Astro. The whole scenes, where he "knocks her up" is out. Presumably because, if we watch acted out sex on tv, we will go ahead and rape. Ensuing dialogue where they refer to the one night stand and why he didn't wear a condom, left me clueless. I didn't know what they did, or why. They just show them waking up the next morning. Apparently there's a scene with strippers in Vegas, gone. Again, same as above. Why bother bringing it in, when you're gonna take out all the main plot points. Makes it sort of pointless.

Also if anyone watches America's next top model or Australia's next top model, you will realise that anytime at all they refer to nudity or boobs, the picture suddenly lags, or even worse, they just rewind the footage and play it again, over the voice. Presumably because, girls will then wear nothing when they go out? The original version obviously has some semi-nudity or I dunno, maybe girls in their undergarments. Nope, since your parents or whoever obviously don't care that you're watching it, or maybe, you're old enough, we will take the role of your parents, and we have decided you cannot watch that part.

And people wonder why the Westerners are so mature at a younger age. How does a nation grow up, when a 50 year old man, has what he watches on TV, filtered out for him by a few donkeys in some darkroom.

18 ratings have absolutely no impact whatsoever on anything. I remember they had a period where they had Police at cinemas, stopping underage people from going into 18 movies. For what? What are they gonna see? Chopped off sex scenes? Muted cursing? Blacked out "overly violent" scenes?

Exactly.



Who judges the judges?

1 comment:

Wayne said...

Astro once censored a scene of a dog crapping. From the movie Me, Myself and Irene. It was a front view so there wasn't even anything to see e.g. asshole/dick, but it was totally cut out anyway.

Free Counters
Free Counters