Twilight

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. What a way to re-start my idle blog, a review of twilight! Wanted to watch Madagascar but when we went to the cinema, no tickets were left so, oh joy, twilight it was. Heard all the hype about the movie and it's OST sales reaching top spot and all. Hayley Williams is in the OST so that automatically forbids me from slamming it. To be fair the soundtrack is decent. Well, down to the movie now eh?

What the movie is about?
Girl moves to town, girl sees cute guy, guy is vampire, girl is not scared, both fall for each other, other vampires come, girl and guy love each other, guy and girl love each other, girl and guy... oh I said that already.

SUPPRESS YOUR URGE TO LAUGH!

Who is in the movie?
Kristen Stewart is the main star, playing Bella Swan. Heartthrob Rob Pattison plays vamp-boy Edward Cullen. Billy Burke plays Bella's father, Charlie Swan, probably the only decent actor in the movie.

Why I found the movie a waste of my time (other than to eat popcorn of course).
I'll make this short so it'll be as painless as possible, twilight fans might want to look away. Alright, the movie is actually not thaaaaaaaat crappy, it's just crappy. The acting is absolutely horrendous, the dialogue makes you want to look away because it is that cringe-worthy and embarassing, the "graphics" or lack-thereof is laughable, and the plot is virtually non-existant and feels very tacked on. What I found decent is that the movie is easy-going and there were some funny parts.

I haven't read the book so I can't comment on the transition, and from experience, I know that not reading the book makes for a more enjoyable viewing. I would not want to imagine how I would have viewed the movie had I read the books.

Based on a few previews, I had the impression that this Edward Cullen was going to be groundbreaking, with some even going as far as to put him in the same sentence as Brad Pitt in Interview with the Vampire. I can assure you that it is not. His acting is almost painful to watch, combined with his makeup to make him look fair, he looks like a walking corpse and acts and talks like that too. Maybe thats being in-character, but then again, it seems modern day vampires have lost their fangs, making them non-identifiable except by some gold-dust thats sprinkled on them when they sunbathe. When he runs, I actually laughed out loud because the animations were that comical. Also, considering the fact that he's been around for a hundred years or something like that, he might have picked up some interesting topics to talk on, instead of having that constipated look on his face whenever anyone talks to him.

However, both of them (Bella and Edward) joined forces to make watching the dialogue one of the most excruciating things I've had to endure. The absolute tosh they tell one another makes Anakin Skywalker's lines seem like Shakespear, and the lion and lamb scene is so awkward that you almost want to turn away. I found it hard to not laugh when either of them had to speak.

The plot is also extremely weak, I don't know if it follows the book religously here but it really is extremely shallow. The kind of plot where someone goes, hmm this might be cool (girl and vamp) and then tries to fabricate a plot AROUND it, forcing situations to happen instead of letting it flow. The climax of the movie comes out of nowhere, and is not connected to the original plot whatsoever. It only comes around because it seems baseball is the vampire official sport.

Redeeming points in the movie are some of the lesser characters provide some comic relief. Like her friend Alice or Jessica, I forget. And father, which gives us something to laugh about with them, not at them.

So, basically the movie will waste your time if you're older than 15 and not one of those teenage girls who want to fit into the IN crowd. Save your money and time because missing out on this one will no affect you in any way.

5.5/10

P.S. I'll be away to Langkawi tomorrow so I'll probably be away for 5 days. Leave comments though, and I will respond to any flames, hatemail or love. Till then, cheerio.

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is,
it's always room temperature.